What time should a 4 year old go to bed?

Most children aged 3 to 5 do well with a bedtime between 7 and 8pm, but watch your own child's tiredness more than the clock.

How long should a bedtime routine take?

About 30 to 45 minutes from the first step to lights out.

Is a screen story before bed OK?

Many families use a short story together as part of winding down. Watch it with your child, keep the light low, and finish before the last step rather than leaving a screen on.

What if my child will not stay in bed?

Keep every response the same and calm, and make the routine predictable. It usually improves within a week or two.

How to build a calm bedtime routine for a 3 to 5 year old

The short answer: keep the same few steps in the same order every night, finish with something quiet you do together, and keep the whole thing to about 30 to 45 minutes. Children settle when they can predict what comes next.

Why routine works at this age

Three to five year olds have big imaginations and very little control over their day. A bedtime routine gives them something they can count on. When the order never changes, a child stops arguing about what happens next and starts to wind down, because the next step is simply what we do.

A felt child under the sea with a turtle, a crab and a big pink rock

A simple routine you can copy

Screens off, lights lower (about 40 minutes before bed). Dim the main light and turn on a lamp. Tidy toys away together, which gives the day a clear ending.
Bath or wash and teeth. Make it a game: a song for teeth, a count for hair.
Pyjamas and a warm drink if you use one. Water or warm milk, finished before teeth if you do teeth afterwards.
A story together. This is the heart of the routine. Choose one story, not three, and say up front that it is the only one tonight.
A short chat or cuddle. Two or three minutes: "What was your best bit today?"
Lights out, same words every night. "Night night, sleep tight, see you in the morning" works because it never changes.

When it goes wrong

They ask for one more story. Agree on the number before you start. "One story, then lights out" is easier to hold than a fight at the end.
They keep getting out of bed. Walk them back calmly, with as little talking as possible. Do it the same way each time.
They are scared of the dark. A small night light and a gentle story with a happy ending help far more than a long chat about fears.
They are over tired. Move the routine 15 minutes earlier for a few nights. A child who is wired often needs less time awake, not more.
After holidays or illness. Go back to the same steps straight away. Routine rebuilds quickly if you do not change the order.

What makes a good bedtime story at this age

Short is better than long. Gentle is better than exciting. A calm ending matters, because it is the last thing in their head. Many parents like a story that uses their child's own name, because it keeps the child's attention without any acting. Snuggle Up Stories makes a short animated story, about three minutes, with your child as the star and their name said aloud by Grandad Joe. It is meant to be watched together, not left running alone. The first story is 99p and then the Adventure Club is £9.99 a month unless you cancel within 7 days.

A few honest limits

A routine will not fix every night. Teething, illness, a new baby or a house move will all disturb sleep. If you are worried about your child's sleep, speak to your health visitor or GP. Nothing here is medical advice.