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Gift for a new big brother or sister

Two felt children in pyjamas either side of a little gold door

The short answer: give the older child something that is theirs alone, with their name on it, and a role in welcoming the baby. When a new baby arrives, the gifts and attention go to the baby. A present for the older child shows they have not been forgotten.

Why it matters

A new baby is a big change. Even a child who is excited can feel pushed aside when visitors come and everyone talks about the newborn. A small, thoughtful gift for the older child, ideally given at the same time as baby gifts, tells them they are still important.

A felt child in a field of woolly sheep

Ideas that work

  1. A personalised story. A story starring them by name, so the big change becomes their adventure too. Snuggle Up Stories makes an animated story with your child as the star and their name said aloud by Grandad Joe. See the new sibling page.
  2. A "big brother" or "big sister" badge or t-shirt. Simple, visible and proud.
  3. A baby doll or soft toy to look after. Lets them practise being gentle.
  4. A special one-to-one outing. A day with a grown-up and no baby.
  5. A book about becoming a big brother or sister. Reading together prepares them.
  6. A "big job" list. Choosing the baby's first outfit, or picking a song to sing.

Gifts from the baby

A card or small present "from the baby" is a lovely tradition. Keep it modest, such as a book or a small toy, and have the baby's grown-up hand it over.

A felt child and a squirrel by a cosy home under a big tree

Helping them feel special

  • Give them a job: fetching a nappy, choosing a blanket, singing a lullaby.
  • Keep some routines the same, especially bedtime.
  • Make time for them alone, even ten minutes.
  • Let them tell the story of the baby's arrival to visitors.
  • Praise gentle behaviour, and be patient with regression.

If you are buying for someone else's family

Check with the parents first about what the child already has. A digital gift avoids clutter, and a story gift lets you add your own message. A year of stories is £99.99 and three months is £27, paid once, and the code lasts 12 months.

What to say to the older child

Children cope better when the change is explained simply and early. You might say: "A baby is coming, and you are going to be the big brother or sister. You are the only one who can show the baby your favourite things." Keep your words honest and short. Repeat them often, and let them ask the same question again and again.

What to avoid

  • Do not stop the older child's usual treats. Keep story time and bedtime the same where you can.
  • Do not compare. Avoid "the baby is so good, why aren't you?"
  • Do not insist they love the baby straight away. Affection builds with time.
  • Do not leave the older child out of photos or visits. Include them in the welcome.

A gift timeline

  • Before the baby arrives: a book about becoming a big brother or sister, and a small gift to open when the baby comes.
  • At the hospital or first visit: a "from the baby" gift.
  • The first weeks: a one-to-one outing or treat, and a story just for them.
  • A few months in: a keepsake that marks the new family, such as a framed photo they chose.

Questions

What do you buy a child when a new baby arrives?

Something personal and just for them, like a story with their name, a badge or a special outing.

Should visitors bring a gift for the older child?

Not required, but a small gift for them is very welcome.

What age is a big brother or sister gift for?

Any age from about two. Pick something that matches what they already enjoy.

Make a bedtime story starring your child, with their name said out loud by Grandad Joe.

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